to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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