if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize