Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The power of my boobs compel you
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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