Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
