she was so not down for the gang bang
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
