Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
