I think i peed on brittanys purse
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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