i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
