I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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