He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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