Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
