He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So many bounce houses so little time
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
