woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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