you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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