Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
