Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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