you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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