Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize