i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
