I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Randomize
