i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
