He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Someone signed my nipple.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
