i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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