youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize