So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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