Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
