What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
