Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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