He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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