Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
