i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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