your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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