what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
