i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
