Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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