I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
