Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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