i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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