birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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