Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
