Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize