Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
