As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize