it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
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I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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