I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
