we have officially lost it.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Life is so much better after having sex.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
