Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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