I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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