i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
