Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
