D3 body, D1 cock
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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