I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
