She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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