just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
