not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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